Lovemaking Soulbreaker


She bites down to stop moans escaping

 nauseating lips brush down her neck  past bruises on her back,

 She holds her breath waiting,

 repulsive stench of alcohol fills her nostrils saturating her whole being

 He caresses her cheeks,

 he has slapped repeatedly

 Tenderly traces her nose,

 he makes bleed frequently

 She twitches as he strokes and caresses

over and past fresh bruises left by pounding fists

His pace quickens so does she,

she moves carefully to protect ribs kicked recently

She moves to meet him,

incase he thinks she’s faking this

Moans and groans burst forth finally free,

timed and building to release

 Together they soar,

 to compliment his masculinity

 “Was it as good for you as it was for me,” he whispers ever so tenderly

______________

I was hesitant on posting this piece. Anyway here goes.  Pls Let me know if you get it.

Maiya

45 comments

  1. This is such a deep scary subject that affects both men and women. Yes women can be violent towards men too, but that aspect is often overlooked. Falling in love is like playing poker or Russian Roulette — all we can do is hope and pray that we will be one of the lucky ones…

  2. Hi – thank you for subbing, Words from my Soul, and my gosh, I am so glad to be here, to visit you.

    Yes, YES I believe I got it, and I believe it is a most courageous and excellently expressed piece. I think you did the survivor of two violent relationships enormous justice here by putting into words what she felt – excellently – that others may feel, reflect. I think you’re brave to SAY it. That bit where she leans in so he will be deluded that she’s okay with it (decidedly deluded) and that bit where at the end “together they soar to compliment his masculinity” – that is just perfectly well said. I have not had a violent relationship, no, but I have had painful “love”making and the man has gone frantic, doing damage, and I feel I can’t escape it, so endure it, and he’s all satisfied, and thinks he’s a big man. Yep, I got it. Magnificently expressed.

  3. This is very deep Miaya!…I’m sure it could wake up some series memories for some woman that have experienced such.
    Deb xx

  4. I have seen my mother go through an abusive relationship, and endured one myself in the past. Your words are very apt, the emotions are very real. My mission right now is to break the stigma associated with rape, and I am reaching out to the world through my blog and my dance. This aspect of rape that you talk about here, is often ignored, and in many ways is the worst kind of rape. The woman, so disempowered and so lost, does not even fully comprehend that she is being raped. Thank you for your beautiful writing.

    1. OMG, you are so right, Sacrilege of the Goddess – I didn’t even think it was rape, I thought it was endurance; just what women must sometimes endure (painful “love”making – not beatings). I must admit, it took me decades to acknowledge that an off duty policeman who went ‘there’ with me, without my will, when I was engaged to be married – it took me decades to acknowledge inside myself: hey, that’s what you call rape. Rape. I just, I don’t know, I just didn’t realise it. I thought because I didn’t scream and beat my fists it couldn’t be called rape – but nor does the woman in this eloquent SHOUT OUT. And because of her endurance, I didn’t identify a rape. Well, that be my upbringing coming through. Again I say: a magnificent piece.

      1. I am deeply saddened that you have been through this my friend. Thank you very much for sharing. I personally believe that if it against your will and even though your not screaming, shouting or fighting, it’s rape.

    1. Hello Faqih, thank you for the thought. But I have already been rescued by my partner who loves me and has been my strength for the past 14yrs.

  5. This is so haunting, emotional and vivid. Yes, vivid is the word! You wrote this so wonderfully and it is horrible, knowing this isn’t fiction to others lives. Blessings to you, Maiya~

  6. The words of a gifted writer. I love the emotional paradox; so intimate, so crushing. Such rawness. I shall be following along with your writing :-).

    1. Thank you! I have joined yours as well. I am overwhelmed by all the postitive comments I got for this piece which I thought might be not as well received as the others.

  7. Thank you for posting this, for going forward despite hesitating to publish it. Its stunning. The push/pull of the victim/abuser – Its raw, powerful. I really appreciate those who write about things like this. Not for shock value, but to shine a light on a massive problem in our world like you so beautifully have done.

  8. Wow, your poems are so raw and truthful and never hold back. Thank you for not glossing over issues that many refuse to acknowledge, humanity benefits greatly from truthtellers such as yourself.

  9. Oh my gosh, this is so vivid…Your ability to put words together that are able to flow and convey such deep meaning is amazing. And to think that there are people out there that suffer these kinds of acts of lust is so disheartening. I really like the work you’re putting out, it’s so pure and from the heart. I will be coming back to stay updated 🙂 And thanks for stopping by, by the way!

    1. Hey Onwindydays, thank you for the follow. It’s funny the more followers the stronger the urge is to run and hide. Thanks for your comment. I have also followed you and look forward to reading more of your inspiring posts.

      1. No problem! I feel the same way at the moment…after getting that award there has been a lot of comments. All are great, just knowing that there are people out there that read what I write but just keeping up with everybody has really been keeping me busy at the moment…But thank you so much! I will try to keep doing those as well 😀

  10. I really do get this you have written this beautifully if that is the word. The fear, the terror, the walking on eggshells, the nauseating feeling of having to pretend that this same creature has not been the one to mark and bruise your body and mind. You have done this so well I pray that this is not from experience. We all need to face up to facts life can be very ugly! God bless you and keep you safe

    1. I interviewed this survivor who had survived not one but two violent relationships and she talked about this aspect of it. Before then I only wrote about the actual beatings not this soulcrushing, spiritbreaking, demeaning, degrading side of domestic violence. I could not write anymore as she tried to put into words how this affected her mentally and emotionally. She couldn’t. It is truely horrific.

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